Creative Coaching Residencies Taumarunui Day 5 with Kathy White

I got told off today. The kids at Taumarunui Primary told me I didn't finish my story A Hairy Tale properly. They didn't want me to end it where I did - they wanted it to carry on, so they could find out if Vince and Joelle ever got lovey-dovey. I tied up all the other ends, but there was only a hint that the love prospect may come to something. It just goes to show that the author often doesn't know it all. Or perhaps it's a good sign that they were enjoying it so much that they didn't want it to end.

We had a fabulous discussion about the characters in the Harry Potter books and movies and how they changed throughout the seven volumes. I couldn't believe how much these kids have remembered and how much they absorbed that I missed. Hihiri would probably score 100% in a Harry Potter knowledge quiz. Their teacher Kathryn is wondering whether they might have to go on a school outing to the new movie. Personally, I can't wait for Part 2 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Kathryn has proposed that the kids create a collection of short stories, get them illustrated and published, and sell them. It's a great idea. It will also prompt some tough decisions. Some kids are struggling to make progress in the middle of their stories. It's a tough part of the story. All writers sometimes have to abandon a story if it isn't strong enough to go the distance, but it's difficult to know when to give up on it. A couple of students have done that already and they've become inspired by their second idea. We're going to get on the computers tomorrow so we should start to see some of these stories springing into life.

A number of kids at Ngakonui Valley School are nearly finished their first draft, so some people read out their stories and we all made comments and suggestions about what we thought worked well and what we thought would make them even better.

The most common things were:

• Too much telling. Show more with dialogue and body language. Less narrative.
• Change the pace for the important bits. Add tension by changing the length of sentences, and use the senses to create mood and feeling.
• Use verbs like ambled or shuffled (good suggestion from Madison) rather than walked slowly.
• Reduce words like 'was', 'were', 'started to', suddenly, and 'then.'
• Avoid cliches. Try and think of an original way to describe something.

I suggested that sometimes simple is best but not everyone agreed with me. I always used to think that my writing was better when I used a lot of words, especially adjectives. Sometimes it is, but I have to be careful. It's easy for me to fall in love with my own writing. I confessed to everyone that I'm struggling with one of my books at the moment because I've written a beginning that I love but it really doesn't fit with the rest of my story. I suspect I need to dump it. But it's such a lovely piece of writing!

I said "Sometimes you have to kill your babies."

They all roared with laughter.

It's a particularly bad phrase, isn't it?

I don't even know where it came from.

Anyway, I also confessed that I overuse a few words too - actually, suddenly, just and anyway. No one seemed to have noticed but I'll bet they notice from now on.

Kathy

Opotiki Residency Des Hunt Blog 4

I'm back home again and working on final edits of work from the schools. The last three days in Opotiki were hectic, trying to take as much of the writing from a last draft to final manuscript. About half made it. From now on we'll work using email transfer. With Track Changes turned on in Microsoft Office, and frequent use of the Add Comment feature, I'm certain that the learning process can continue. While it is not as personal as sitting beside the writer and reading the work aloud, it is closer to what happens in reality. I hope to have all work completed before the end of term.

In the days since the final visits to schools I've had a chance to reflect on the last two weeks. Of course, some of our efforts have been more successful than others. Almost all students can be justifiably proud of the work that they have created. I know that some are entering their writing into competitions. Others will gain satisfaction from seeing their work published within the schools and local community. I like to think that all have gained something from the experience. With a small few, the work achieved was below my expectations and it is worth looking at possible reasons.

The size of the groups were 8, 12, and 15. It was the group of 15 that I found awkward to work with. These 15 represented a quarter of the school, and hence a wide range of writing abilities. I am sure that a smaller group would have achieved more. That group also worked in a classroom. Both of the others worked in libraries; the group of 8 had sole use of the library with enough room for the students to isolate themselves from each other; the group of 12 had to share the space with others which was a little distracting. Most writers have a special place where they write, and while replicating that in a school is difficult, I think that should be the aim.

The balance between morning and afternoons also affected performance. The group of 15 had four afternoons and two mornings. Not only did that reduce my time in the school, it also meant that for two thirds of the visits we were trying to be creative after lunch, which rarely works for me. On the other hand the group of 8 had four mornings which was brilliant.

In all three schools we made changes to our initial aims, particularly the theme for the writing. I see no problems with this. That's what happens when I'm writing. The main aim was to develop creative writing skills; if the theme was restricting their writing, then we allowed it to be modified. I think the final product was better for the flexibility.

I was a little apprehensive about the residency when it was first suggested five months back. My feeling was that being good at something, doesn't necessarily mean that you can teach that something. I would happily teach science and computing, but creative writing? Where do you begin? In the end I began with a presentation that covered what I do as a writer and how I fashion an idea into something worthy of publication. It worked! Most of the students started by attempting to mirror my processes. As they progressed many made changes that suited their style. Most of all, they recognized that there is much more to the creative process than putting words on paper. I now see that as a strength of the residencies. They allow the students to have contact with someone who has 'been there, done that'; someone who tries to make a living out of writing. An All Black might be a lousy coach of rugby, but he's sure to be listened to when he speaks to a team. I was listened to, and I like to think that I made a difference. If nothing else, I hope that I have helped some seeds to germinate and push their leaves out of the darkness into the first light.

Des Hunt

Creative Coaching Residencies Taumarunui Day 4 with Kathy White

There have been a few breakthroughs in our classroom sessions - and not just for the kids taking part in this project. Often they say things that help me to understand something about my own writing.

When we started talking about characters at Ngakonui Valley School, Chelsea discovered she didn't yet have a villain (or antagonist) in her story. We talked about how important that role is, and she quickly saw how it was affecting her story. Conflict needs a protagonist and antagonist, even if the antagonist is something like a tornado or an evil car. There needs to be someone or something putting obstacles in the hero's path. Before we'd finished our conversation, she had invented a ghost, and she raced off to fill in the info in her character chart.

Daniel at Manunui School said he doesn't run away from conflict. He tells people how it is. I realised when I looked at my own book that I sometimes go around the bits in my story where there's major conflict or I gloss over it. Sometimes I even let someone other than my hero handle it. That's no good! What do I keep telling the kids? The main character has to face problems himself and try to resolve them. He's going to fail sometimes, but he has to try. At the weekend, I dug out my teen novel and fixed one of the scenes where my character Jack faces a particularly nasty pest controller called Jono. Jono thinks Jack has been tampering with his car. It's not pleasant but it's now more realistic. Jono IS the scariest character in my book. He's not going to be kind to Jack.

Mrs Munro at Taumarunui School pointed out to some of her students who were struggling with the plot, that it helps to think about fairy tales, myths and legends. That got me thinking (and talking) about the many ways that a 'search and rescue' story like Rapunzel can be used. My own book A Hairy Tale is a twisted modern version of Rapunzel, featuring paragliding, helicopters, flying foxes, hair models and gorillas. Tangled has just been screening at the movies, and that definitely reverses the traditional roles in Rapunzel. Even Star Wars reminds me of Rapunzel. Luke Skywalker rescues Princess Leia from the evil villain Darth Vader on the Death Star. I suppose it's not that different from the Prince rescuing Rapunzel from the wicked witch in that tower.

We looked at Showing and Telling today and talked about how to use action, body language and dialogue to reveal how a character thinks and feels. It's better to hint at things and let the reader figure things out rather than over-explain and make it dull. We also looked at ways to quicken the pace of a story (using short active sentences, specific verbs, sound effects, and dialogue). Liam at Ngakonui Valley School demonstrated this really well when he read out his spy story at the end of the day. It had lots of humorous dialogue in it too, which really suited his main character. I loved the twisted ending!

It's just as important to know when and how to slow things down with longer more descriptive narrative (for an important place or situation), and how to add tension and suspense (using the senses). I used an example I borrowed from Ashleigh at Manunui, where we focused on the smell of petrol, and the sound of a window being wound down, just before a boy is kidnapped. Ashleigh likes scary stories. It sent shivers down my spine, just thinking about it. Rosalie at Taumarunui Primary added tension by dropping hints in her story, but keeping some things secret. It intensified the misunderstanding about a missing zookeeper and an affectionate lion, and reminded me how powerful misunderstandings and secrets can be in stories.

I really enjoyed listening to people reading out their stories today. Everyone's style is different.

Kathy

Creative Coaching Residencies Bay of Islands – Rural Residency with Don Long

Friday, March 18, 2011

This morning at Russell, I completed the one-on-one sessions and then we reviewed our work together over the past two weeks. We talked about the ways writers of non-fiction organise their thoughts before they start – the experience they’ve just had. It’s making a big difference to their writing, sparking ideas and firing up their imaginations. It was just fantastic to see these students enjoying the challenge of what they are doing, with some of them even continuing to work on their articles at home even though they weren’t asked to do so for “homework”.

I suggested to Eveleen and William that they consider having a class competition to look at the final results, before the students enter their work into the School Journal competition. In this way, they could receive immediate feedback, before the wait for the national competition result.

At Opua School, the four writing groups had finished drafting their text and graphics and had laid them out in mock-ups of “screen grabs”. I reviewed these with each group, giving lots of feedback (in a positive way, though pointing them towards some useful tweaks). In the process, we completed a class shot list for a photo shoot and the students continued the process of giving each other feedback.

One of the parents is a professional photographer. He joined us just before 3.00. He’s going to mentor the students as they take the photographs they need to complete their website content. Because this may involve a truck and a steep road, Sergeant Davis has agreed to oversee the photo shoot, to ensure that everyone stays safe. (As I left the school, the two of them were discussing this – and, of course, the school is going to be closely involved in this, too.)

I also took the class through the reasons why they need to get their parents to sign a permission form before photographs of themselves are offered to the NZ Transport Agency’s Feet First website.

By 4.30, I was at the Kerikeri airport, checking in for my flight home. For the first time in two weeks, it started to rain, bringing to an end an extraordinarily enriching experience, inspiring young writers and sharing writing skills and the passion for writing with them.

There is something very special about working with children in isolated rural communities such as Russell, Opua, and Paihia. Through the things the children write about and discuss with you, you gain a glimpse into small, tight-knit communities where people depend on and look after one another. It really is an extraordinary experience to become a part of all that, if only for a time.

The young writers at Opua School and Russell School have promised to show me the finished result of all their hard work, as soon as they have finished editing and illustrating their writing – and I’m looking forward to seeing how Room 5 at Paihia storyboards its reader’s theatre play.

Don Long

Creative Coaching Residencies Bay of Islands – Rural Residency with Don Long

Thursday, March 17, 2011

This morning at Opua, the four writing groups finished drafting their articles and laid them our in “enlarged screen” mock ups, using large sheets of paper.

Then Sergeant Davis joined us, after morning break, and each group explained its article to him and checked to ensure that the safety messages were all correct and fully aligned the road code and the advice that the police give to students travelling to and from school.

He suggested to several groups that they add information about how steep the road outside the school is and how far the truck travelled before it almost hit the students when its brakes failed. He’s going to measure both of these and bring the information back to the students.

It was great to see the students’ reactions when another adult – and a police officer to boot – took their writing seriously and offered considered feedback on its effectiveness in getting important safety messages across to other students.

Tomorrow, we’re going to continue the editing process. Margaret and I are scaffolding how the students can offer one another useful affirmation and good ideas for ways to give the writing even more impact – and we want to do a shot list for the photo shoot for next week.

At Russell, I continued the one-on-one sessions. Gosh, there are some good ideas being worked on. One girl is writing an engaging and funny description of a journey around Russell as told by a seagull – a kind of gourmet tour of Russell’s scraps and throw- aways, with “gourmet” understood from a seagull’s point of view! Another girl is writing about the thirty-second journey involved in a recent swimming race she took part in just off the Russell Beach, which a stingray (accidently) won!

Don Long

Waiotahe Valley School with Des Hunt

Wednesday March 16

Today the Waiotahe Valley School community enthusiastically welcomed Des Hunt to our fold. We asked Des to accompany us to Onekawa Pa, where we introduced him to our beloved Whangakopoikopiko Island. This island is to be the central theme of our writing. After climbing to an excellent viewing site overlooking Whganakopikopiko Mr Andy Larsen and Mr Ray Wilson explained to Des Hunt the history of the island and the significant changes that have historically affected the area. The students then explained to Des, as kaitiarkitangi of the island their relationship and attachment to this special place.

While Des, parents and friends of the school and staff were together at the Pa site we discussed the different perspectives we could take and develop our writing from. At this time we established themes that we could pursue within this writing journey.

Des then turned and led the conversation with our writers as to where they wanted to take their writing. Themes discussed with the students included perspectives from:

1. telling the birth of the island

2. a Maori historical perspective

3. an early European settler perspective

4. an introduced species perspective

5. Maori warriors going to war

6. soldiers leaving to world wars

7. the future viewpoint of the island

This sandy bank is our beloved Whangakopikopikopiko Island at low tide

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On our first day with Des Hunt the aspects that we found helpful were the ways in which Des gathers a variety of ideas for a story, some of which he includes in a story and those that he eliminates. This helped the writers to begin to develop their own ideas for what they wanted to include in their stories. Des also demonstrated later in the day how he uses local resources i.e our local museum to augment and validate storylines. Des provided on Day 2 some of the validating information he had found for the writers triggering authentic storylines for our students.

The opportunities that the students responded to most enthusiastically were:

· communicating with Des their attachment to Whangakopikopiko

· meeting a real live author

Bullet point two is invaluable here. The writers were so overawed with meeting Des that they defaulted to ‘silent mode.’ Some ‘priming’ would need to be done to prepare these students for the CORE crew!

Opotiki College, Day Six

This is our final session with Des. We all worked hard in the first hour to have something completed. In the second hour we gathered around and we all shared our writing with the group. Those who were too shy had their work read out by Des or myself, but most were happy to share their own.

There was such a variety of styles, topics and ideas. It was impressive to hear how each student had interpreted the project differently. There were poems, stories, historical fiction, diaries, action, drama, thrillers and even some fantasy. It was great to finish off our session with this sharing session as we could all take the time to appreciate our individual talents and creativity.

Des finished with a final presentation about how to send work off to a publisher. He showed us many tricks of the trade and had examples of his own work that had been sent back by his editor so we could see for ourselves all the behind-the-scenes work that goes into publishing a book. Des finished by presenting the Scribbler group with a signed copy of one of his books, and the students responded with a heart-felt thank you for all the work he had done for us and the inspiration he had given us to keep writing.

With most of the students complete or near completion, Des is going to correspond by email with students to give final feedback. The final project will hopefully be complete in the next term as we are looking into publishing and sponsorship options as producing a short-order magazine run is fairly expensive. We will keep you posted as to when and where it will be available.

Attached are some photos of our group working with Des and also of our trip to the beach. As I can't figure out how to edit previous posts, there will be one final post done by students with samples of their writing.

Steve Williamson.

25-3-11

OUR BEACH TRIP

PICTURES OF US WORKING

Opotiki College, Day Five

This has been a very busy day indeed! The crew from CORE Education were here today filming us at work. They filmed many aspects of the project including interviews with students, observing Des giving feedback, observing students giving each other feedback, and students reading their work aloud. A reporter from the local paper had also caught wind that a famous author was in town working with school pupils. She turned up and interviewed a few students and took pictures for the paper. We are all looking forward to being world famous in Opotiki!

We have two students who have finished their pieces for the magazine. One is a tragic and moving story set on the beach called "Drawing Horses" and the other is a poem called "When I could Talk" inspired by the Heidelberg printing machine in the museum. This student took it to the museum where a curator was so impressed that they are keeping a copy for their archives!

Des has been impressed at how well the students are working together and help each other in their writing. This is because the students are all part of a group that meet regularly and are familiar enough and trust each other enough to do so.

Opotiki College, Day Four

This day was spent working enthusiastically on our projects. Des and I spent the time working with students through the drafting and revising stage of their work. This is a part of the process that is fairly new to students. Most have not reworked a piece of writing so many times and in such depth before and they are really benefiting from the amount of feedback that Des and I am giving. I appreciate having the time as it is definitely more than I would usually be able to give in the limited time of a normal timetabled class. Des has commented that many of these students are very good writers and this has been a real confidence boost for them.