St John the Evangelist School Year 8 Writing Group Day 2

Day Two

This was a slightly shorter session than the marathon first one, and we got down to work promptly, to share the synopses the 16 students had prepared: ‘what my story is about.’

The aim was to hear their ideas on the general theme of mystery and adventure, and have a brief discussion about the options open to the writer, the voice they might use and the way they might simplify a story into the ‘one idea’ which works best in a short story format. I was pleased that many of them seemed to know where the story was finally going. The topics raised took us into many interesting places: touching on problems of lost children, racism, haunted schools, difficult or missing parents, bullying.

I reminded them that that even in a short story something has to change, but especially that in stories that have protagonists coping with some pretty tough subjects, it’s desirable for the reader to be left with some realistic sense of hope, some way forward for the characters.

The girls worked very well at this oral exercise, and with my departure were planning to get down to the actual writing of their first draft. I am to receive these by email from their teacher Pips Reddy by the end of next week, so that I have a chance to look at them and comment before I go again in a fortnight. I am grateful for the thoughtful support Pips and the school are providing.

Tessa Duder

St John the Evangelist School Year 8 Writing Group Day 1

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 26, 2010

St John the Evangelist Year 8 Writing Group

Day One: Thursday 21 October 2010

Not wanting to get caught in traffic, I had left Mission Bay quite early and was looking for a coffee shop even before most of the shops in Otara were open. If I was a little apprehensive about working with a group of shy Samoan girls, I should not have been; I received a wonderfully warm welcome from them and their teacher Pips Reddy at St John the EvangelistSchool, close to where the famous Otara market takes place and the Manukau Institute of Technology.

St John’s is a small Catholic integrated school, boys and girls until Year 6, when most of the boys move on to De La Salle College and the girls stay for two more years before going, mostly, to McAuley College. Decile 1, a DuffySchool, roll about 260, 97% Samoan, the rest Tongan, Maori and other Islanders; no palangi. I like to find out these things before I go into a school, to get a sense of the school’s culture, its special flavour.

It was quite a challenge: the group of 16 students to talk from 9.00 a.m. until 1.10 p.m. (with a 40 minute break) about stories and the anthology we are going to produce. For the first 90 minutes we introduced ourselves. Ms Reddy, from a third generation Indian family in South Africa, shared how she came to New Zealand, as did many of the girls subsequently, whether it had been their parents or grandparents who had made the courageous journey to begin a new life in New Zealand.

Most came from fairly large families, four and more; many named Maths as their favourite subject but I’m certain that wasn’t just to make Ms Reddy, who taught them Maths, feel appreciated! There was a wondrous variety of ambitions: flight attendant, architect, lawyer, doctor, carpenter, professional sportswoman, teacher, actress, accountant, chef, restaurant owner, photographer. Great to hear.

After break, when I was welcomed in the staffroom for a very fine brunch, we really got down to business.

We made a list on the whiteboard to remind us of the points that a professional writer or editor considers when creating an anthology: a great title, a colour cover, a back cover with a blurb, possibly some illustrations inside. The book will be A4, spiral bound. Stories will be up to 2000 words long, on mystery or adventure themes; their important order in the anthology will be discussed later. Drafts will be presented in double spacing, 12pt font, text not indented, but the book will be printed out in single spacing with usual indents, contents pages etc.

We also talked about the target market, who will be interested in a copy: the authors and families, school library, school principal, church Father, NZ Book Council.

We then brainstormed what helps make a short story memorable: generally one idea only, a problem, good setting and characters, some good dialogue and most of all, that ‘something has to change.’ Then we moved onto a brief discussion of Point of View, whether first or third person, and the classical arc of a good plot. We finished (and by this time the girls were definitely calling on their reserves of concentration to stay focussed) with sharing some thoughts about where ideas come from. All round, we agreed, in your families, in everyday life, things you hear about or experience yourself.

During the morning we had discussed how our 6 sessions might pan out:

• Day 1: introduction and discussion of short story theory
• Day 2: students to come with their synopses for one or more stories; ‘what my story is about.’
• Day 3: 1^st draft; discussion about cover art,
• Day 4: 2^nd draft; rough designs for cover, number of copies to be produced
• Day 5/6: final draft for editing; agreement re order and re cover, towards final print-out.

I was impressed with the moving prayer that began and ended each session, and delighted with the girls’ willingness to participate and especially, to listen. So I’m really looking forward the fulfilling our shared vision of their anthology with a lively and attractive publication.

Tessa Duder

21 October 2010

At Kaitaia College our aim was initially to create a range of poetry 'posters' that captured the Far North. Apirana took the students (Year 9 and 10) through a range of exercises (many similar to the ones he used at the local primary schools) to encourage them to write and see the world in a different way. Unfortunately, the students did not have the opportunity to finish the poetry for the project and so this part is still incomplete. Of course, they have now gone on holiday and we have to wait until the beginning of Term 4 to do this. Once students give me their work, I will be emailing it to Apirana for feedback and then we will endeavour to complete the project as we initially intended. Doing something like this has its challenges in a secondary school. I had to work around the timetable and there were times when it was not possible to have all of the students out of class for a scheduled workshop. We had two students filming the workshops with the intention of putting together a short documentary once all work is complete. Overall, it was a positive experience for the students and teachers involved, although admitedly, very demanding on staff. Below is Rita Lennon's account of her experience. (Ellender Wilson)

DAY ONE

I walked into the library and sat down at a chair. Then we began. I had missed the sessions which had occurred earlier in the week due to illness, so I was a tad worried that I wouldn’t be able to catch up with whatever we were working on. Luckily for me, it seemed we were starting on a new venture that day.

Mr Taylor read us a legend about how Kaitaia got its name, which was completely different to the one I had always been told. When I said so, I was encouraged to tell my version. Well. Easier said than done. I didn’t know the names of any of the involved parties, and I could only guess at the general storyline, since I hadn’t heard the story told in a while and I hadn’t grown up with it or anything. So I stumbled my way through what I remembered and came up with the vaguest excuse for a Maori legend possible. At this point, I was thinking to myself that it would have been better for everyone involved if I had just kept my mouth shut.

We were instructed to write a poem, “about a page long”, about the legend (the former one that Mr Taylor had read). It was a little difficult – I’m not used to writing poetry for an actual subject. Usually I just write down a mixture of feelings and fiction, and I’m good to go. So at first I was a little stumped, and spent maybe five minutes trying to figure out how to write the legend in a poem without making it sound like I was just recounting the whole thing in little verses. Eventually, I got started, and I ended up writing a few four-lined verses that fit into the page, not one line more or less.

Amber and I finished at the same time, so, neighborly friends we are, we swapped poems and read, both lamenting in whispers that ours was stupid. Mr Taylor approached and glanced over them. He seemed pleased. Encouraged to go onto the second, vague legend, I wrote a shorter poem. No break in it, no particular rhythm, just about ten lines of quickly-scribbled poetry that I probably should have tried harder on but decided was good enough, if – once again – vague.

DAY TWO

There were several reasons why it was a good day – one was that we started with a shared lunch. Then we went right into our work – short stories. “Use humour,” Taylor said. Right, then.

What seemed like an age of mad scribbling and hand-cramp later, we started to share some of our stories. Some of them were thinly-veiled jabs at infamous educators, others were bizarre snail matchmaking stories. Either way, they were entertaining.

“In the end, the best way to learn about writing is to write.”

Whilst the scribbling had been taking place, Mr Taylor had written this up on the whiteboard. “No one can tell you how to write,” he added, “although it’s good to listen to advice.”
After this, we wrote another story – a challenge had been issued, after all, that we couldn’t possibly write two stories in the short space of time. We proved him wrong.
Apparently, most of his adult classes couldn’t have done that. Maybe there’s something to be said for younger authors – we don’t have life experience weighing us down and telling us what can’t happen, so we come up with the most random ideas anyone has ever heard of.

DAY THREE

Plays. It was all about plays today. Turns out Mr Taylor is an actor too – add that to the list of things he does. He told us the basics of plays, how many acts some of them have on average, how there are usually several scenes in one act. Then we got down to setting our scene.

I decided on my story and got right into it, even though we were only really supposed to be writing where our characters were and what they were doing there. A glance around showed that most other people were doing the same – we all finished around the same time, except for some people who came in late because they had an exam.
Three scenes later, we all read out our plays – they all had some kind of conflict in them, a lot of them about a love interest. Some of them had really out-there plotlines – aliens, unicorns, the like. But they sounded like they would be fun to act out, and Mr Taylor encouraged us to do so on another occasion.

We went out onto the field at one point and listened to, then looked at, what surrounded us, so that we could write a poem about that moment in time. I liked this – it was easy to write about something I saw almost every day. In the same way, it was kind of hard to illustrate it in a way that really captured it.

“Wasteland”
(Formerly “What I saw at Kaitaia College 14/9/10, 12.10pm)

Outside is a wasteland
Rubbish blows like tumbleweeds
In a desert of churned grass.
Isolation and desperation
Tinge the trees blander, the sky colder.
Slow circles are meandered.
Behind me, the school
I turn
Beside me, the school
I turn
And see creamy-coloured classrooms
Windows gazing unseeingly, accusingly,
Are you allowed out there?
Aren’t you meant to be in class?
I close my eyes and hear activity
I open my eyes and see a lie
Or is it truth?
I see nothing happening
I hear, every moment, the opposite.
Is something happening?
In some classroom, maybe
But here in this cold, churned space,
It is muted by sight
It is muddled – as am I.

At the end of our time, Mr Taylor told us once again that the best thing you could do was to write and use our “built in lie detector”. That way, we could develop our skills and become better as writers.

Last Day Ahipara Jody Curran

Last Day Ahipara School

Apirana began lesson by praising the students for the awesome poetry they have been writing. This was a real boost for their mana. I think this really captures the essence of the programme-creative writing coaches really inspires and encourages children to pursue their talent in writing. By hearing a renowned author and poet tell them they are awesome writers it really makes them believe in what themselves.

In the next part of the session we looked at writing plays.
They began by setting the scene and characters, such as in a kitchen, Sam and Joel, having an argument. Students then worked on writing 3 scenes for their very own play.

We then completed the lesson by sharing our writing from our sessions with Apirana. It was neat for the kids to hear Apirana read out their poems.

Next steps…Publish our poems and create posters for our new office area. We will then turn these posters into a book which can be shared with our school and other schools.

Thank you Apirana for the time you have spent at Ahipara School. The skills and mana they have gained from these four sessions will instil a passion for writing in them now and for their future.

Jody Curran

Day 3 Ahipara-Apirana

Worked with schools, doing a number of exercises for specific reasons.

The students at Kataia College, Oturu Primary and Ahipara Primary have all produced work
I would be proud to say I wrote.

These are some of the things we looked at.

At Oturu we gathered and discussed information about Oturu. We talked about what Oturu means. It means a certain phase of the moon. When it is seen over a certain hill it signifies the fishing will be good for three days.

The students then wrote poems about this moon and going fishing at that time.

They have also written positive poems about Oturu.

Took them through exercises on how to write description and dialogue.
Some of these students live in difficult circumstances. They have talent and have produced some truly praisworthy work.

Read and told them some of my own stories.

At Kaitaia college I decided these students had ability. I therefore decided to push them into working really hard. I told the students I didn't think they could achieve what I expected of them for the morning. I challenged them to prove me wrong.

They set to with great gusto eager to prove me wrong and they certainly did, which was the purpose of the lesson.

I read one of my stories as a reward.

At all the schools we read and comment on the students work. Its all positive and good.

At Ahipara we have focused on locale legends, looked at the power of words and how to enjoy them. We 've looked at how to work out the lay out of a poem as opposed to writing it out in a paragraph like prose.

We've covered exerecises in how to awaken the sensense and so view the world around us, i.e.
with a fresh pristine vision and eye etc and write about it.

I am pleased with the sudents work.

Some of my focus is on stimulating the classes creativity and maintaining a warm positive happy working environment where the students work hard and enjoy it so that writing is always seen
in a positive light and not a chore.

The vast majority of the first drafts were pretty close to perfect. Some of it can be reworked in a second draft.

I am awarding myself a gold star for success.

We've done other things with all the schools but I'd be blogging for a month or writing a novel to explain it all and I don't like blogging.

cheers
Apirana

Day 3 Ahipara

Day 3 Ahipara School

Today we began the lesson by looking at one of Apirana’ poems…

Adroit songster
Natty dresser
Attired in tuxedo
With immaculate cravat
I am a Tui

The students used the dictionary to find unfamiliar words

This was a great activity to teach children how to write a poem the way we want it read. Apirana wrote it on one line and the students had to break it in lines-writing it how they read it.

For the next part of the session we went to the beach.
The children sat on the beach and closed their eyes and then described what they heard.
We then explored the beach and described what we saw. The children then collected items from the beach which could help with their poem.
Apirana got the students to really focus on their senses and the colours of objects.

We then head back to school to have a go at writing 1-2 poems about our trip to the beach. The students had to use what they…

Saw
Heard
Felt
Touched
Smelt
Could taste.

This is what one student wrote…

A seabird
Dives
Searches
Captures
Gobbles
In the whirling whitewash



Lonely
It flutters in the breeze
It drifts
Hovering
It swoops in an arch
Lonely


The students loved getting out onto the beach. I noticed that their poetry was really enhanced through exploring their senses and experiencing what they were writing about.
Looking forward to seeing the final pieces of poetry come together.

Jody Curran

Day 2 Ahipara School

Day 2 Ahipara School

We began the session by listening to one of the students read the story of ‘how Ahipara got its name’.
Apirana wrote down the important names and places in the story.
Students then re-wrote the story in their own words, using only one paragraph.
Students discussed how their tribe, mountain, river and sea are important to the story of Ahipara.

The students then had a go at turning their summary into a poem following Apirana’s format…

The sea at Ahipara

The story (of Ahipara)

Ahipara

Students had 6 minutes. They then shared their poetry (Read poem aloud-eyes are for reading ears are for language)
This is what one student wrote…

The sea at Ahipara laps the golden shore
It cried at my feet like many years ago.
Brave warriors crimson on the sand
Soaking deep staining our land with blood
Fighting for the ever so beautiful beach.
Reconciling after devastating times,
Marriage lights up the shore
Peace at last
Scarlet flames fill the twilight sky
Smoke wafts along the flawless Bay
Offerings of fish and seafood
Imprinting gritty sand like memories of our ancestors
Whitewash hugs the jaggered rocks
Seagulls squeal overhead
This I love more than anything.

After this exercise Apirana shared one of his stories titled ‘Geeks”

We finished with a neat verse…
Thank you poet
For your wonderful poem
May you grow taller
May you grow stronger
May you grow more loving than your poem


Students found today’s task a challenge but really enjoyed tying their knowledge of Ahipara into their work. They are looking forward to learning how to transcribe their ideas into poetry using the tools Apirana will teach them in the next session.